Top Ten Worst things to say in a job interview…

1. I had to leave my last job because my “list of people to kill” had just gotten too cumbersome to keep hiding in the filing cabinets. I would rather start fresh.

2. Mat leave is the best thing ever! Its like free money. And no I’m not pregnant yet…but I will be!!!

3. I think I would be a good fit here because based on what I saw in the waiting room, your company is really ugly and I can help make it a little better looking.

4. Where do I want to be in five years? Not in this shit hole. That’s for damn sure. Probably at your big competitors. But for now I can always settle.

5. How many hours a day can I spend online shopping?

6. What type of porn is not allowed to be viewed during office hours. I mean I’m sure you allow some right?

7. My last interview? It was actually my exit interview from my previous job. It went prett well until i self induced myself to vomit on my old bosses carpet. Best exit interview ever. But I bet I’ll top it when I leave here one day.

8. I am a workaholic. Why? I guess mainly because my wife is a bitch and I would rather stay here than go home.

9. I never ever drink before 2pm on a work day sooo… worries!

10. I know I don’t work here yet but I made a big mess in the bathroom. Wow I mean…I am sorry about it. Lets just say rancid meatloaf met bachelor party met the area right beside the toilet. So lets talk about benefits.

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