Posts Tagged GM

Top Ten Ideas to Fix GM as offered by new incoming CEO

1. Bigger more expensive trucks to drink more of the delicious oil stolen from Calgar…I mean Iraq.
2. Every new car or truck comes with a bag of Oreos jammed into the glove box.
3. Steering wheels now turn left AND right.
4. 60% of airbags will most likely deploy
5. Puppet shows at all dealerships.
6. Inside five randomly selected cars…a golden ticket…to tour downtown Detroit.
7. A magic flying car that runs on rainbows and dreams. Don’t just dismiss these ideas. We need to think outside the box.
8. One giant car that will fit every single american in at once.
9. Try to convince people it is much cheaper and comfortable to live in a pimped out SUV than in a cramped studio apartment.
10. Fix this? Are you fucking joking? This is the best deal ever. “We lost money, can we please have 16 billion dollars?” And they gave it to us??? There is nothing to fix. Next quarter I hope we sell negative five cars and I will ask for a trillion.